Once the tryptophan-induced haze wears off and you’ve enjoyed a fine six-pack of Thanksgiving beers, it’s time to go Black Friday shopping! Our Black Friday beers are quite the opposite of the day prior. Whereas Thanksgiving beers are often full-bodied, rich, and full of taste, these Black Friday beers are all about getting through.
Yuengling Lager
The first beer to grab on this early morning is a Yuengling. With enough taste, it will start the day off on the right foot, no matter what time the shopping begins. Yuengling’s malty character gives it enough depth and taste to be enjoyed and relished, but it’s still an easy-drinking domestic that won’t pack too much of a punch. I hope you enjoyed America’s oldest beer because this is the tastiest of the day. The other five are basically water to enjoy along the rest of your harrowing shopping journey.
Michelob Ultra
The second choice in our six-pack of Black Friday Beers is Michelob Ultra. This is all about hydration. Since it’s essentially water and has no taste, it will keep you fueled while navigating the massive crowds at Target. If you’re shopping alone, try listening to our podcast about finding the best alternative to Michelob Ultra.
Busch Light
Not too much different than Ultra, as it, spoiler alert, won the prize for most Ultra-esque in a recent podcast episode; it just has a slightly more syrupy taste. It will prepare you, though, for the next store, Kohl’s.
Iron City
Regional western PA brewery, Iron City, makes a beer so nondescript that it’s hard to tell it apart from other non-Lite bigger brewery beers. It’ll give you the energy to tackle the toy store when looking for a doll for your son, George, and be ready to rain blows down on any opponent also aiming to buy the same doll.
Carling’s Black Label
For “Black” Friday, it’s “Black” Label! Once brewed on the shores of Massachusetts’ Lake Cochituate, it’s now brewed in Molson breweries in Canada and Miller breweries in the US, found regionally in the upper Midwest. The taste is pretty standard domestic fare. By the fourth beer, and the fourth stop, you’ll just be happy to make it through the tool section at Home Depot, shopping for your father-in-law!
Natural Ice
The dehydration, ultraviolet store lights, and syrupy taste of this beer are all settling in nicely, which thus brings our shopping trip to a close. Time to grab the worst of the bunch, Natural Ice. This doesn’t taste good, but hopefully gives you enough umph to put you to bed, whether it’s early AM or later PM hours.
After the joyous celebration of Thanksgiving, you’ll need these Black Friday beers to get through the year’s busiest shopping day. Of course, imbibe appropriately, have a designated driver, and don’t actually take these beers into the stores; they won’t like that. This also works just as well for online Cyber Monday shopping!
