Typically Backyard Road Trips offers the reader slightly off the beaten path, family-friendly places to visit in New England. Along with the majority of the population whose lives have been disrupted by the pandemic, the “road trip” element of this website has been curbed for now. Let’s be honest, most of us, including myself, never dreamed of a catastrophic event such as this gripping our world.
We are all grappling with this in our own ways. Sometimes a distraction is necessary. A friend of mine, Brian Harty, shared this piece with me the other day. Given the unsettled nature of the present, it’s the perfect time for some needed comic relief. Enjoy!
-Zack Lamothe,
Editor, Backyard Road Trips
“An Aging Alternative Rocker Laments the Priorities of a New, Responsible Generation.”
By Brian Harty
Kids these days respect everything! I see them walking around all clean-shaven in their Vineyard Vines listening to catchy pop music. In my day we wore flannel shirts and listened to alternative music and we liked it! What’s up with all the healthy snacks kids are eating like apple slices and kale? What’s wrong with walking around a music festival with loose pretzels in the front pocket of your shirt so you have something to snack on when you get the munchies? Nowadays kids shower every day, they put on their Under Armour clothes and listen to Demi Lovato. They sit in their comfy SUVs and sip lattes while their middle upper-class parents chauffeur them to school. In my day you showered twice a week tops and walked the path through the woods to school. We didn’t need to shower! When you’re out camping with buddies three things are expected; you brought enough snacks for everyone, you wore wide-leg pants and you knew every song on Pearl Jam’s Vitalogy. No one cared how you smelled as long as you had good taste in music!
And what about the manners of these kids? Everything is “please and thank you.” When I was growing up, if you said “have a nice day”, you were being ironic! Where is this new generation getting their messed up values of being nice? This country is in rough shape if everyone plans on being responsible! It’s a flat out disgrace! The one redeeming quality of this new generation is that they respect vinyl records. At least we have some common ground to build upon but that doesn’t negate the fact that they respect their elders. Why just the other day a young man walked up to me and said: “Can I help you with your groceries?” No! Stay away from my snacks and go rumple your clothes you short-haired preppy!
My teenage son is one of the worst offenders. This afternoon I caught him sneaking out of the house with two hundred dollars in his pocket. I asked him what he was doing and where he got the money. To my horror, he confessed to me that he got an after school job working as a lifeguard at the community center. He was going to the bank to deposit the money into his newly opened savings account. I told him that no son of mine is going to be responsible with money. In my youth, I would have blown the money on a new tent and a portable grill. Those tasty hot dogs and burgers don’t cook themselves! The worst part is that he listens to me and sees my point of view. And he has this crazy idea that he wants to go to college to actually learn. In my day, people went to college to party and start a band. Kids these days want to be responsible and get a “good job”. What’s wrong with making a living as a white water rafting guide so that for the flexible hours to follow the Dead and Company? This new generation’s priorities are seriously messed up!
